2019 Year in Review
I’m commemorating the end of the decade with a recap of my year.
2019 was a whirlwind of a year. I climbed two volcanoes, visited eleven countries (five of which were brand new to me), and traveled the world alongside a solid crew of friends, living in shared flats, homes, and villas across Southeast Asia and Europe.
It was a prolific year for creativity and business as well. I created a countless amount of new artwork, spoke on stage at five events, was interviewed on three podcasts, and hosted one watercolor workshop. I published three new online courses and hit the milestone of 100,000 students.
I celebrated some big wins this year– I welcomed in new licensing partners to carry my CatCoq designs (hello, Nordstrom) and also renewed relationships with partners from the past (hi again, Urban Outfitters).
This was also my first full year being represented by an art agency, which helped my licensing bloom into new partnerships and product categories.
As fulfilling and exciting as 2019 was, it was also one of my hardest years. My long-term relationship ended, I lost half a year’s worth of work when my hard drive failed, and I got into a painful motorbike accident half a world away from home.
So this year, I’m not just recapping my highlight reel, but including a full picture of my happiest moments and my biggest struggles of 2019. No rainbow without a little rain, right?
Let’s dig in.
New Collaborations:
Urban Outfitters
Back in early 2016, an email from Urban Outfitters altered the trajectory of my career: they wished to carry one of my art prints in their stores. That exposure paved the way for the big brands I now collaborate with. Fast-forward three years: I scored a second collaboration with Urban Outfitters in 2019! You can now find my Tropical Fan Palms pillow in UO’s home decor collection. See more ➳
The SoNo Collection
It's always pretty cool to see my designs out in the world, but these two installations are especially significant for me. At 35 feet long, these mural walls are the largest my artwork has ever been replicated. I contributed two mural designs: these spirit animals (above) and a giant wave, drawn by hand with ink. The SoNo Collection features a vast array of local, national, and international artwork. See more ➳
Nordstrom
My art landed at Nordstrom this summer! As of May 2019, I launched a CatCoq collection with Nordstrom comprised of two of my best-selling art prints, Good Vibes and Stay Curious. See more ➳
Society6 x The Sill
I only take on a limited number of commission projects like this each year, and I chose this one because it absolutely resonated with me: Society6’s Power Mamas Collection celebrates eleven female founders for their leadership and creativity. See more ➳
RoomMates Decor
This year, I partnered up with RoomMates Decor to create a line of Peel & Stick Wallpaper. The collection was inspired by my firsthand observations around the world: tropical foliage from the jungles of Southeast Asia, Scandanavian textiles, and wildlife in Central America. See more ➳
Cutting Edge Stencils
This year, I struck a collaboration that brought my Evil Eyes to life. Cutting Edge Stencils produces some of the most beautiful and unique decorative stencils for today’s DIY-er. See more ➳
Ivory Ella
My partnership with Ivory Ella is more than just a clothing line– IE is a mission-driven brand that supports elephant conservation. Over the past four years, Ivory Ella has been able to donate over $1.7 million toward this mission. See more ➳
Libbee
I teamed up with Libbee to bring CatCoq t-shirts straight to your door. Each month, Libbee sends out a shirt with a design custom-illustrated by a professional designer. See more ➳
Speaking Events:
Stepping Up to the Main Stage at the Dynamite Circle Entrepreneur Conference
Bangkok, Thailand - I had the opportunity to share my entrepreneurial journey with 300 fellow founders during the Dynamite Circle’s flagship conference in Bangkok. The event is five jam-packed days full of masterminds, topic-based meetups, keynotes, workshops and great conversations.
I spoke about how I’ve structured my business around profitable partnerships, which enables me to keep my company as small and lean as possible. For someone who prioritizes autonomy, this has led to a more satisfying work/life balance and a thriving business. Outsourcing tasks to partners enables me to create the space to make high-level business decisions, not get lost in tactical hell, and focus on the truly important things that will move the needle.
Women entrepreneurs of the DC unite!
The DC is a diverse community of over a thousand vetted, location-independent entrepreneurs focused on building successful online businesses. Members are from all types of backgrounds and business expertise. We’re all brought together by our shared desire to improve and succeed in our ventures.
Guest Lecturer at Hallmark Symposium
University of Kansas – Hallmark Symposium is a lecture series that exposes students to accomplished designers, artists, educators, and architects from around the world. Every semester, a handful of professionals are invited to KU to present to the students. I was honored to be invited back to my alma mater to speak at this special event and share my best nuggets of advice regarding design, entrepreneurship, and business. The students in the audience were exactly where I was ten years ago: future illustrators, designers and architects. Read more ➳
Bond Women’s Festival
Chiang Mai, Thailand – I presented on the main stage at Asia's first completely women-led event, the Bond Women's Festival. I shared my story about how I turned my creative passion into a viable business. The event was created to inspire women to think boldly, unleash their voices, and establish a supportive community. The crowd was packed with digital nomads, entrepreneurs, creatives, freelancers, and locals alike. Read more ➳
Guest Presenter
University of Kansas – Ten years ago, I was the student pinning my work to the design department walls while my professor and classmates critiqued every brushstroke. This time around, I returned as a visiting professional. In addition to participating in the critique, I showed the illustration junior class examples of how I prepare work for clients. I also walked the class through a typical collaboration process. Read more ➳
Kansas City Design Week
Kansas City, USA - I was invited back to my hometown as a keynote speaker to share my unique work/travel lifestyle during KC’s most creative week of the year. This was an incredible opportunity for me to give back to the city that cultivated my design career. The event sold out and the crowd was packed with designers, architects, freelancers, and advertising and design professionals. Read more ➳
Watercolor Workshop
Kansas City, USA – The watercolor workshop I hosted during KC Design Week sold out in a whopping 37 minutes. The audience was an eclectic blend of designers, architects, project managers, advertising/design agency professionals, and more. The event was a smashing success– I was completely blown away by the talent in the room. Read more ➳
Podcast Interviews:
Ladies of Ludlow Podcast with Madelaine DeRose
Nothing is left off the table. I discuss the biggest challenges I’ve faced in the art licensing industry, how I support myself financially, and my advice for anyone who wants to pursue entrepreneurship or become a digital nomad.
TMBA Podcast with Dan Andrews
Art and entrepreneurship don’t have to be mutually exclusive. In fact, the skillsets are often complementary. I share my story of how I went from working a 9-to-5 while living with my parents to traveling the world on my own terms.
Create Art That Sells: YouTube Interview with Iva Mikles
Art Side of Life seeks seeks to inspire their listeners to pursue their passion in life and take action towards making a living as an artist. I spoke with Iva about how I juggle business ownership with full-time travel.
3 Online Classes Published in 2019
I’m a big believer in community over competition, and I devote a chunk of my time to creating resources that allow fellow creatives to thrive.
In 2019, I reached the milestone of 100,000 students enrolled in my courses. I published my 9th, 10th, and 11th classes, all geared at creative self-starters who want to improve their creative capabilities, learn new skills, and build their empires.
Modern Acrylic Painting: Explore Techniques to Create On-Trend Art
Learn how to paint with acrylics– with a modern twist. Why acrylic paint? In addition to being incredibly easy to use, acrylics yield some of the most vibrant and versatile results. Enroll Here ➳
Modern Patterns: From Sketch to Screen
Have you ever wanted to turn your hand-drawn art into a pattern? It’s actually pretty simple. In this class, you’ll learn the basics of transforming your sketch into a digital pattern. Enroll Here ➳
Design Top-Selling Product Mockups with Your Art
You’ll learn a simple, step by step process to create product mockups and how to optimize your mockups for selling. As an extra benefit, you’ll even learn my strategy for creating mockups that customers love buying in every category. Enroll Here ➳
Most Epic Moments of 2019:
Celebrations & Silence on Nyepi Day
📍Bali, Indonesia ➺ On the eve of the Balinese Day of Silence, the night is anything but quiet. Locals parade 20-foot tall “ogoh-ogoh” demons down the streets in a procession of fireworks, drums, and dancers. As soon as the sun begins to rise, the island dips into eerie silence. For 24 hours, Bali is cut off from the rest of the world: no internet, no phones, no electricity, no fires, and no stepping foot outside of your home. It was arguably the worst timing for our gas propane tank to give out. We nearly succumbed to a Lord of Flies situation before someone had the idea to jerry-rig the tank from the water heater and hook it up to the stove instead. We (silently) celebrated our noodle feast that night.
Watching Eruptions from the Summit of an Active Volcano
📍Stromboli, Italy ➺ Halfway through our entrepreneur retreat, we set out laptops aside and hiked to the summit of one of the most active volcanoes in the world. Stromboli erupts every fifteen minutes and it’s been doing so for the past millennia. Five weeks after we departed, the volcano’s activity surged and a massive eruption shook the island. It was the largest eruption in years– if it would have occurred a few hours later, when all the hiking tours were underway, everyone at the summit would have perished. I returned to Stromboli a few weeks afterwards to reunite with a friend and we watched the aftermath: glowing red lava oozing down the mountain and sizzling into the sea. Read more ➳
My Birthday = 48 Hours in Azerbaijan
📍Baku, Azerbaijan ➺ I announced that I wanted to spend my birthday somewhere exotic and unfamiliar, and my friends graciously humored me. That’s how the five of us wound up in an overnight train down to this former Soviet republic. We spent two days soaking up everything Azerbaijan had to offer: mud volcanoes, mosques, rock carvings along cliffs, racing around the desert in old Ladas, and taking in some truly breathtaking views.
Dune-Racing Vintage Ladas through the Mud Volcano Capital of the World
📍50 miles west of Baku, Azerbaijan ➺ I have never seen a sight like this in my life. The arid badlands of the Absheron Peninsula felt like an alien landscape. So why was I here? This region along the Caspian Sea boasts the densest cluster of mud volcanoes in the world. Four friends and I crammed into two vintage Ladas –with two insane drivers– and bounced our way full-speed across the desert to check out the volcanoes for ourselves. Instead of spewing molten lava, the craters were bubbling with very cold mud. We left considerably sloppier than we had when we arrived.
Diving Alongside Giant Manta Rays
📍Nusa Penida, Indonesia ➺ This was a dive for the books. I've never seen such giant animals so close while diving. At one point, I rolled upwards to see the white belly of a huge 15-foot-wide ray gliding above me, almost close enough to touch. While swimming alongside groups of rays, I watched them funnel plankton and little fish into their gaping mouths. Their graceful movements were absolutely mesmerizing to watch. When the divemaster signaled it was time to head up and showed the time, I couldn't believe we'd spent nearly an hour submerged. It felt like minutes.
Yoga with Baby Goats
📍Kansas, USA ➺ When my friends asked if I wanted to join them for baby goat yoga, I assumed they were joking. Nope. After about ten minutes, I abandoned the yoga poses and spent the rest of the time giving goats belly rubs while whispering sweet nothings into their ears. Is this what heaven is like?
One Second Everyday - My Recap of 2019
Favorite Creations of 2019
Top Travel Destinations:
📍Florence, Italy
I arrived in Florence to kick off my European summer with friends. We packed in all of the touristy staples: fawn over Renaissance paintings in the Uffizi, devour buffalo mozzarella + prosciutto paninis, wander the cobblestone streets, and snap obnoxious selfies in front of Michelangelo’s David’s genitals.
📍Tbilisi, Georgia
This was my home-base for the month of June. My friends and I arrived knowing virtually nothing about the country, but we became smitten with the cuisine: khinkalis (dumplings), khachapuri (baked cheese boats in bread), and churchkhela (walnut and grape dessert) became staples of my diet. By the time I left Georgia, I was waddling.
📍Bali, Indonesia
I spent two months living on The Island of the Gods with a group of friends. We worked on our laptops, explored the island, and watched the sunset over the Indian Ocean from our secret beach. Bali is a digital nomad’s paradise: loads of coworking spaces, balmy weather, relatively cheap cost of living, stunning beaches, rich history, and strong spiritual traditions.
📍Armenia
Back in June, my friends and I piled into a minivan and road-tripped from our apartment in Tbilisi, Georgia down to Armenia. Two hours into the drive, we were all passing around a bottle of half-finished Armenian brandy and making toasts. Our driver was a saint.
📍Christchurch, New Zealand
After spending Christmas with my family in Kansas, I flew down to New Zealand to ring in the new year with friends. As soon as I arrived at my friend’s house and stepped out of the car, I was tackled by his family’s border collie. Talk about an enthusiastic welcome to the country.
📍Bear Tooth Pass, Wyoming
We Coquillettes tend to get restless, so when we all met up over the summer in Red Lodge, Montana, we incorporated 5–7-hour hikes into our daily routine. My parents, brother, sis-in-law, aunts, uncles, and cousins all shared a mountain house for a week of family time in the heart of Big Sky Country.
📍Český Krumlov, Czech Republic
When my aunts told me they were planning a trip to Czechia with friends to visit a former exchange student and explore the region, I invited myself along. Our ten days together were packed with hiking, castle exploration, and Coquillette family bonding time over wine and bread dumplings.
📍Pai, Thailand
Nestled in the mountains up north, this little town is insanely laid back– it’s a backpacker paradise known for its hot springs, elephant camps, majestic views, organic food, tropical jungle hiking trails, and shroom shakes. Coming from Chiang Mai, the road up to Pai has over 700 switchback turns through the jungle and mountains. It’s well worth the arduous journey. We spent all weekend in chillax mode– no laptops, all nature.
📍San Francisco, USA
While en route back to Thailand, I made the most of an extended layover in San Francisco: 48 hours of wineries, hiking trails, wilderness, and laughing my ass off with my good friend, Sydnie. All my favorite things in life. We met as coworkers in 2012, quickly became best buds, and then lived together for three years in Kansas City.
📍Biała Podlaska, Poland
I never imagined I’d wind up in a small Polish town like Biała Podlaska, but when a friend’s mom goes out of town and needs a dog-sitter, we rose to the challenge. Aga’s mom stocked the kitchen with pierogis and hand-pickled gherkins. We ate like kings, played with the dog, and celebrated the 4th of July in Eastern Europe. This was my first time staying with a nomad friend’s family and her mom’s hospitality was crushingly kind and generous. Thank you, Mrs. Nazaruk!
📍Kansas, USA
No matter where I’m living in the world, Kansas is always the home I can return to. I came back to Kansas three times in 2019– in the spring, the fall, and for Christmas. When I’m back, I absolutely make the most of it: walks with Mom & Dad along the Streamway Trails, family dinners, telling Jack the dog how much I love and miss him, and planing “getaway” weekends with my girlfriends – even if it means we’re just overnighting in a nearby hotel downtown.
📍Chiang Mai, Thailand
This city has a special place in my heart. I return every autumn to see old friends and make new ones. Every year is always a little different in CM, but this year was especially memorable. I lived with friends in our “coworking compound”. In addition to spending every waking moment together behind our laptops, we also managed to actually make it out of the apartment from time to time for mountain adventures.
Places Visited:
Chiang Mai, Thailand • Bali, Indonesia • Kansas City, USA • Florence, Italy • Sicily, Italy • Stromboli, Italy • Tbilisi, Georgia • Yerevan, Armenia • Baku, Azerbaijan • Warsaw, Poland • Prague, Czech Republic • Vienna, Austria • Český Krumlov, Czech Republic • San Francisco, California • Bangkok, Thailand • Christchurch, New Zealand
Highest Highs & Lowest Lows:
Most end-of-year recaps (including mine) read as highlight reels, but this year I wanted to introduce a reality check. 2019 was my year of highest highs and lowest lows. I had some incredible experiences and I’m proud of my accomplishments, but this was also one of my toughest years.
Despite everything, this was my year of personal growth – overcoming challenges is how you learn and grow.
So in the spirit of embracing vulnerability, transparency, and staying grounded, here’s the full picture.
Low Point #1: A Breakup
Midway though the year, my six-year relationship dissolved. My boyfriend and I had been struggling to make our long-distance relationship work, but it finally reached its breaking point. We’d spent the previous three years living on opposite sides of the world and there was no end to our long-distance in sight.
We were each leading separate lives and didn’t feel like we were growing together. We began to question whether we were still hanging on for each other or for the years we’d already shared together.
We split up on amicable terms —we’d mutually agreed that it was the right decision— but it was still an emotionally painful and draining experience.
Instead of hashing out all the details of our breakup, I’m going to focus on what I’ve learned about myself since then. I spent the past six months of the year experiencing what it’s like to be on my own again. This is essentially the first time I’ve been single since I was eighteen. Throughout my twenties, I transitioned from one long-term relationship to another. I’d always felt happiest with a companion by my side and never really had the desire to be alone.
I’m a reasonably self-reliant person— I run my own company, I’ve solo-traveled throughout the world, and I’ve carved out a life for myself so that I can live each day on my own terms. But relationships are one area in my otherwise self-sufficient life that I’ve held onto like a security blanket.
I’m thirty two now. It took me a long time, but I finally learned that it’s okay to be alone. It’s also okay to be lonely from time to time– this is a core human emotion and isn’t meant to be swept under the rug. And I’ve reminded myself that just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m ever actually “alone”– I’m embraced by a loving group of family and friends that have always been there for me.
I’ve also learned that it’s okay to let go of things and start from scratch. Perseverance and grit have up-leveled my life in many ways, but those traits are not always the solution for every situation in life. Letting go comes with its own heartbreak, but sometimes it’s the best move forward.
When I quit my job four years ago and decided to embark on self-employment, I wasn’t just giving up my job title and position at the design agency, I was also relinquishing an entire career path. Up until that point, I felt like I had a solid grasp of my career trajectory: intern ➳ designer ➳ senior designer ➳ art director ➳ creative director ➳ partner ➳ retirement. But when I decided to quit that job, I was also deciding to quit the entire industry. I wasn’t going to be an art director in the design field anymore. I was going to start from scratch as a content creator in the licensing world.
I didn’t come to decision overnight to halt my career, pivot to an entirely new field, and begin anew. It took a long time for that idea to sink in. When life is happening so rapidly around you, it can be hard to step back and consider why you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s usually easier to just go with the flow.
I’m learning to pause and consider my goals and intentions instead of just following the momentum that life carries me. This mindset shift first occurred during my career split: I realized that my current actions were polarized against my ideal future. I was working as an art director at an agency, but ultimately what I wanted was more autonomy: I wanted to decide when and where I worked, what projects I took on, and have full flexibility over my work/life balance. And I wasn’t going to get those things unless I made a fundamental change. So I did.
I will aways be that person who lives in the present and enjoys the here and now. But what I’m realizing is that while it’s great to live in the moment, it’s also vitally important to take the time to step back and evaluate whether my current actions are aligned with my desired future. It’s so easy to get swept up in the day-to-day and forget to consider the big picture.
I’m working on being more intentional about my actions. Are the decisions I’m making now true to what I ultimately want out of life? I want to infuse more “time out”s into my days and have these check-in moments with myself.
I’m also working on being more open and expressive about what I want. Not just to others, but to myself as well. Going forth, I want to be more considerate with my decisions, better with communicating my wants and needs to others (even if that means being vulnerable), and more honest with myself.
Low Point #2: Motorbike Accident
The day before my flight out of Bali, I landed myself in the hospital. It was mid-afternoon and I was leaving a coffee shop, driving my motorbike back home to pack my bags. As I was heading down a hill towards a blind curve, I was taken by surprise when an oncoming car whipped around the corner and forced me out of my lane. I avoided colliding with the car by ditching my bike, but my body flew forward and slid along about fifteen meters of pavement.
The car sped off, but a group of nearby Balinese construction workers rushed over to assist. I was lying on my side, curled along the shoulder of the road and staring at my bloody hands in confusion.
The following moments are still hazy, but I remember getting picked up and placed into the back seat of a car. The next stop was an emergency room.
The subsequent few hours consisted of me sprawled on a hospital bed while doctors and nurses cleaned, stitched, and bandaged up my wounds. My mind was struggling to catch up– I felt like I was watching everything unfold from a distance rather than actually being the center of focus.
The next day, I sat in a wheelchair at the airport waiting to board my flight. I’d lied to the ticketing manager about the severity of my injuries– I was desperate to get home. She had told me I couldn’t get on the airplane if I had open wounds, stitches, or sprains/breaks. I scored an A+ on her “no fly” list, but I vehemently denied everything.
She wouldn’t budge, so I pulled out my phone to call the hospital I’d just left. I told the hospital desk clerk that I needed him to email a waiver to the airline attesting that I could fly. I whispered to please not include any details of my injuries because I needed to get on this flight.
The stars were in my favor, because the clerk acquiesced and emailed a vague description of my injuries along with a clearance report deeming me eligible to fly. The ticketing manager grudgingly issued me a boarding pass.
The following 32 hours of travel were some of the most physically exhausting of my life. I couldn’t walk without assistance and needed a wheelchair during layovers. My foot, leg, torso, arm, and hands were wrapped in bandages (the road rash primarily only covered the left side of my body), but fresh blood had seeped through and coagulated into the fabric of my pants and jacket, gluing my clothes to my wounds. I was in pain, mentally drained, and apprehensive. And for 32 hours between Bali and Kansas, I couldn’t even peel off my pants to pee.
After I arrived in Kansas City, I spent the next six weeks recovering. It was hectic and frustrating at first– because my injuries happened in Indonesia, I had a hard time convincing urgent care doctors to agree to see me. No one wanted that liability. Back in Bali, I had preemptively called seven Kansas City clinics before I found one that hesitantly agreed to maybe take a look if I stopped by.
Before my flight out of Bali, I went directly from the doctor to the airport. When I landed in Kansas, I went directly from the airport to the doctor.
The urgent care clinic doctor was direct and blunt: she told me that since no x-rays were done on my leg in Bali, she had no idea if there were bone fragments underneath the stitches. She informed me that my knee was so badly infected that if I didn’t seek hospital care immediately, I could face lower leg amputation. Unfortunately, my mom happened to be in the room with me as the doctor delivered her dire pronouncement.
That drive to the emergency room was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was simultaneously grappling with what the doctor had said while attempting to downplay the situation to my (understandably) unnerved mother.
“Of course the doctor said that, Mom. She doesn’t want that liability and she wanted to get me out of her office. She exaggerated. Everything is fine.” I had no idea if what I was saying was true. At that point, I was partially in “reassure Mom” mode and partially unwilling to even entertain the idea that I might face something so horrifying.
The rest of the day went by in a whirl– I was evaluated by the emergency room staff. They changed my leaky bandages, prodded my throbbing knee, and determined that the infection could be managed by amping up my antibiotics. They also left me with a script for heavier pain pills and a referral for a wound care specialist. I immediately set up an appointment for the following day.
At this point, it had been three days since I flew off my bike. Throughout this time, I hadn’t given myself an opportunity to reflect on any of it. All of my focus had been on the next immediate challenge: Get off the road. Get in this car. Go to the hospital. Board the flight. Don’t cry when I see Mom and Dad at baggage claim. I’d been in survival mode and put all my emotions on the back burner as I dealt with the most pressing issue, then the next.
That night was the moment that realization struck in. I could have been killed if I’d struck that car. If I hadn’t have been wearing my helmet, I could have split open my skull when I hit the pavement. If I hadn’t made that flight, I could have still been stuck in Bali. I could have gotten a worse infection and had my leg chopped off. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw that car swiveling around the corner towards me.
When I allowed myself the space to unpack my emotions about the accident and aftermath, it all came pouring out. First came the shock when I realized just how bad things could have turned out. Then the guilt came pouring in. I’d put my parents through absolute hell.
Months later, I realized that healing my emotional reaction to the accident would ultimately take longer than healing the physical wounds.
This is exactly what I was wearing the day of my crash. Plus a full-face helmet.
I don’t mess around anymore.
Six months after my accident, I got back on a bike. This time, I was decked out head-to-toe in proper gear: a full-face helmet, reinforced jacket, gloves, denim, and riding boots. It might look like overkill for a 150cc Honda Click, but I’m erring on the side of caution from now on.
I now have more respect for the road. When I got in my accident, I was wearing a tank top, shorts, and flip flops. I had a cavalier attitude about driving and felt too comfortable on my bike.
I also have a deeper appreciation for my parents and everything they did for me during my recovery. During the moments that I felt most distressed and overwhelmed (like when I had to peel off my bandages to clean the wounds), my mom and dad were stoic and supportive. They walked alongside me during my physical therapy, drove me to every appointment, and cheered me up when I was feeling miserable. My parents were my rock throughout it all.
I regret that my mom and dad had to go through this experience with me, but I don’t regret that I did. It could have been worse, but instead it was a wake-up call for me and a reminder of the things I shouldn’t take for granted.
I came out of everything with a stronger gratitude for my family, my health, and for everyone that helped support me along the way. I’m also more appreciative of things I hadn’t really considered before: my health and mobility, the kindness of strangers, and this lifestyle I’m able to live.
Low Point #3: Hard Drive Crash
One winter afternoon back in college, I was walking on campus while carrying my external hard drive in my gloved hands. As I stepped onto the sidewalk that lead to the Art & Design building, I slipped on the icy pavement.
I had the split-second reaction akin to a mother cradling her newborn: I hugged my hard drive to my chest and took the brunt of the blow on the pavement to my shoulder and cheek. It was a purely instinctual action– protect my baby at all costs.
Nested inside that hard drive was a semester’s worth of work. It was my life. My bruised body could heal over time, an electronic storage device would not. I remember brushing the icy grit and rock salt off my throbbing face and thinking, “Whew! Disaster averted.”
So when my hard drive failed this spring in Bali and I lost five months worth of work, to say I was devastated is putting it mildly. This was the biggest setback I’ve ever faced in my business. I lost artwork files, signed contracts, invoices, client presentations, writing, speaking notes, design work, and scanned in paintings that I’d long since thrown away. Some of this data had been backed up to Dropbox, but the majority vanished from existence.
I experienced the five stages of grief as I learned to live what what I’d lost.
The Five Stages of Grief // Crashed Hard Drive Saga:
Stage #1: Denial
My hard drive didn’t go quietly. Instead, it announced its sudden demise with an emphatic outburst of scratchy clicks and whirs. It only lasted a couple seconds, but it was excruciating to listen to. And then, *blip*, dead silence. I told myself this was totally fine and normal, even as a cold sweat broke out across my brow.
Stage #2: Bargaining
Panic set in. A frantic Google search informed me there was a hard drive repair shop in Denpasar, a city about 45 minutes away by motorbike. I made it in 22 minutes. After several hours of tinkering, the technician solemnly handed me back my hard drive and shook his head. My face must have been epitome of devastation, because he refused to accept the cash I offered him for his troubles.
Stage 3: Depression
Have you ever seen an adult woman putzing along on her motorbike in tropical paradise while weeping? Welp, that was me. That ride back was hopeless. When I got home, I crawled into bed and proceeded to eat a jumbo-size box of Nerds and feel sorry for myself.
Stage 4: Anger
This one came and went throughout the next few weeks, triggered every time I tried to locate a file only to realize it was among the casualties of the lost data. This anger was all directed at myself: How could I be so stupid and careless about backing up my livelihood?
Stage 5: Acceptance
When the grief subsided, I threw myself into action. First, I fessed up to my art agent and clients about the lost work. (I wasn’t the only one affected.) Then, I started rebuilding what I’d lost: I re-filmed my entire Skillshare course (I’d wrapped production the day before the hard drive failed), scoured the past five months of my inbox to locate signed contracts, flattened JPEGs of my artwork, and anything else I could reclaim from email correspondence.
What I Learned:
PSA: Back. Your. Shit. Up. Yeah, we all know this at heart, but I was lazy and careless. “Ah, I’ll do that next week.” Nope. Now, I have redundancies in place: Not only am I manually backing up to Dropbox, but I also have automated systems always running in the background that keep my files backed up to my server and the Cloud. Oh, and I splurged on 8 gigabytes worth of SSD devices. Sup, flash storage. I’ve sworn off HDDs for life. New beginnings, baby.
High Point #1: My Family Visiting Me in Bali
And now for the best moments of my year.
In March, my brother and his wife flew to Bali to visit me. Will and Kelley had spent a good chunk of time in Southeast Asia years ago, but this was their first time in Bali.
My brother is my favorite person on this planet and Kelley is more than a sister-in-law, she’s a true friend. When they arrived, I was on cloud nine.
Growing up, my brother was always my best friend and closest confidant. I idolized him in many ways. Will is kind, curious, and makes me laugh harder than anyone. Even though we are only eighteen months apart, I’ve always looked up to him with awe.
When we were kids, my brother was the coolest person I knew and I wanted to emulate anything he did:
Will was elected into student council? I was elected into student council. Will learned to play the piano? I learned to play the piano. Will went to Warped Tour and dyed his hair green? I went to Warped Tour and streaked my hair pink.
Most older brothers would find this behavior repulsively annoying, but Will’s personality is amiable and good-natured. He never seemed to mind. The only times I encountered his irritation was when I was intentionally seeking to provoke it. (A duty all little sisters hold sacred.)
As we grew older, our paths in life began to diverge– I gravitated towards visual arts and he was captivated with computers and tech. Even as our separate hobbies transitioned into our vocations, the constant in our relationship has always been our shared need for creative outlets. Will finds his through music – piano, percussion, and the occasional ukulele – and I find mine though visual art – painting, drawing, and design.
Now, as an adult, that childhood idolization I’d felt towards my brother has matured into a deep respect. We’ve remained close as we’ve grown older, but we don’t have nearly as many opportunities to spend time together.
We live separate lives– Will moved to South Korea at the same time I left to study in Germany. Later, when I graduated college and got my first job in Kansas City, he and Kelley got their first apartment together in California. Now, the two of them are living in Lawrence, Kansas and I’m on the other side of the world in Thailand. When the three of us are in the same place together, we make the most of it.
So, bringing this back to Bali. After years of only seeing each other for short spurts of time, spending ten days with Will and Kelley in tropical paradise was incredible.
We spent our time meandering through local Balinese neighborhoods, tasting strange-looking fruits in street markets, learning how to cook traditional dishes, dodging handsy monkeys along jungle paths, investigating Hindu temples, picking our way carefully through tiered rice terraces, and eating decadent meals.
Roughly seven hours after his flight landed, Will and I hiked up one of Bali’s active volcanoes, Mt. Batur. My roommates, Zak and Aga, joined for the adventure. We started our ascent at 3:00 A.M. and summited just before sunrise.
Everyone was hungover and sleep-deprived, except for Will, who was so jet-lagged that he had no concept of time and seemed to be the only one who wasn’t dragging his feet.
Our delirium fizzled away as we watched the sunrise peek over the horizon. The steam from the volcanic vents caught the sunlight and for a moment, patches of the summit seemed to be aflame all around us. The chitchat of our fellow hikers faded into a murmur as we took it all in.
A couple days before their flight home, the three of us decided on a whim to permanently memorialize our trip with tattoos inked into our calves. Even better, a tattoo artist I’d admired for years was nearby in Canggu for a residency at a local tattoo parlor. (Psst– check out Caecilia’s insanely detailed linework on Instagram.)
Kelley chose a red hibiscus. Hibiscus blooms are synonymous with Bali– they’re depicted on mosaic tiles on temple floors, woven into women’s hair for dances, and are found growing in nearly every Balinese garden. Red hibiscus are believed to be the favorite flower of Kali, the Hindu goddess. In Bali, hibiscus blooms represent bravery and femininity.
When Will and I told Caecilia we wanted matching tattoos of Mount Batur, she was confused. “Why not Agung? That’s the largest volcano in Bali.” We didn’t want the biggest volcano, we wanted the one we climbed together. Needless to say, Caecilia did a masterful job meticulously inking Bali’s second most impressive volcano into our flesh.
Tattoo sketches
Tattoo implementation
We made the most of our time together in Bali and packed in as much as we could manage. We road-tripped down south to Uluwatu to visit a temple built atop a 230-feet high cliff.
We also spent time in Ubud, a town surrounded by rainforest and terraced rice paddies. It was in our Ubud lodging that we became barricaded in our rooms due to a pack of aggressive monkeys outside our door. We called the front desk to ask for assistance and they sent a man armed with a slingshot to clear the monkeys from our hallway. We watched through the cracked door as he began pelting pebbles and they scattered like flies.
The ten days I got to spend with Will and Kelley passed by in a flash. We shared some incredible experiences together and have memories to cherish for life. I’m looking forward to more global adventures with these two in the years to come. Love you guys!
High Point #2: Stromboli, Italy
It’s hard to articulate, but it sort of feels like Stromboli is this magical, make-believe island. It simply doesn’t feel real. It’s as if the moment I step foot on the island, my normal life gets put on pause and is replaced by this other, more colorful, dreamy, and adventurous version of living.
So, let me back up. There is nothing mundane about Stromboli. Far from it. It isn’t just a small island in the Mediterranean, Stromboli is one of the most active volcanoes in the world. It erupts every fifteen minutes, as it’s been doing for the past millennia. There is something incredibly surreal about going about your day as a volcano gurgles and bursts above you.
I grew up in the suburbs of Kansas– my childhood was stable, wholesome, and conventional. I’ll always cherish my memories of being a kid, but it definitely wasn’t the height of exoticism. Now that I have the means and the flexibility, I’ve spent a good chunk of my adult life traveling the world and seeking the novelty of exploring a strange, new place. After all, curiosity is one of my primary drives.
Still, I’ve never experienced a place quite like Stromboli. It’s not just the breathtaking surroundings, it’s how the energy of the island seems to seep its way into my veins. On Stromboli, I’m hit with a duality of feelings; I simultaneously feel energized and relaxed, impassioned and complacent. Above everything else, though, on Stomboli, I feel a sense of profound happiness.
This was my second year joining Volcano Retreats for their annual excursion to Stromboli, Italy. The entrepreneur retreat connects ten founders for ten days of co-living, co-working, and problem solving on this volcanic island.
Back in 2018, what brought me to Stromboli was:
Getting solid business advice from fellow founders. (10% of my motives)
I wanted to climb up a volcano and see hot lava. (90% of my motives)
Guys. I was really excited about the hot lava thing.
During that first year on Stromboli, I received my business advice and saw the hot lava, but what really affected my experience were the deep connections I made with the other attendees.
Not only did we come together as a group, but the impromptu meetups and one-on-one connections were incredibly impactful. We’d periodically single each other out for individual chats to get private advice on business ideas, challenges, or life in general.
These intimate discussions fostered close connections. Ultimately, we were all there to not only uplevel our own ventures, but to help each other rise as well.
This solidarity brought us together and created an environment of trust, creativity, and excitement about the future.
I wasn’t expecting to develop such close friendships so quickly, but spending ten days living together, brainstorming together, dining together, hiking up a volcano together, and pretty much spending every second together accelerated casual friendships into deeper bonds.
And those friendships weren’t fleeting– The friends that I made during my first year on Stromboli altered the trajectory of the next year.
My Stromboli friends and I wound up spending the bulk of 2019 together, not just in the same country, but living under the same roof as we traveled around the world together through Bali, Georgia, Azerbaijan, Armenia, Poland, the USA, and Thailand.
This year, Stromboli felt like the exact places I needed to be at the exact time I needed to be there. I’d left the States and flown to Italy immediately after receiving the “all clear” from my doctor to begin traveling again after my motorbike accident. Plus, I was still processing my recent breakup. I arrived in Stromboli while healing both physically and emotionally.
Being back in a familiar place that was simultaneously secure and exotic felt like a comforting embrace. I was surrounded by friends that care deeply for me on this fiery island tucked away in the Mediterranean.
Stromboli 2019 was every bit as gratifying and exquisite as the previous year. It was a refuge from the daily routine. I still worked on my laptop for a few hours every day, sure, but my days were also comprised of so much more.
Every morning, we carved out a few hours for “hot seats”, where we concentrated on one individual at a time and sought to problem-solve their business and identify opportunities for growth.
In the afternoons, I usually wandered around the island listening to my favorite playlists and podcasts. I’d find a good place in a secluded spot to journal and daydream. I’d then cram an entire day’s worth of work into a few hours before getting out my watercolor set and painting in our lemon grove courtyard.
We all convened in the evenings over carafes of house red in a cliffside bistro overlooking the ocean below. We also indulged in delicious Sicilian dinners, homemade limoncello, and the flakiest and butteriest croissants known to humanity.
On the evening the ferry arrived to whisk us away from Stromboli and back to mainland Italy, I remember gazing up at the volcano and feeling heartbroken that it would be an entire year before I’d be back. I wasn’t ready to leave.
Joke’s on me, because six weeks later, I arrived back at that same dock, gazing up at that same volcano. I couldn’t help but return to the island for a double dose of Stromboli in 2019. Some places just wind up calling you back.
High Point #3: Montana with Family
Over the summer, the Coquillettes gathered together in Red Lodge, Montana for a week of hiking, home-cooked dinners, and catching up as a family. Fifteen of us packed into a sprawling lodge along the edge of the Beartooth Mountains.
At the lodge, we were warned not to walk alone at dawn or dusk without bear spray and had to dispose of our garbage in special bear-proof cans. Exotic!
Because we’re all so spread out geographically, I don’t get to spend time with my dad’s side of the family very often. So when we all get together, it’s a celebration. My aunts, uncles, and cousins are all down-to-earth, hilarious, and exhaustingly active.
Every morning, we’d load our packs with lunch: sandwiches, smoked salmon, deer jerky, green apples, and trail mix. Plus, one key staple for hiking in Wyoming and Montana: canisters of bear spray. Sadly, we didn’t encounter any bears. However, we did stumble upon a decomposing moose that the bears had ravaged before we arrived. So I’m counting that as a 1/2 bear sighting.
For our most scenic hikes, we crossed the state border into Wyoming to hike through the Beartooths. We encountered evergreen forests, glacier lakes, rocky inclines, and sprawling vistas of low vegetation above the timberline. The terrain was dynamic and impressive.
In the evenings back at the house, we’d sip wine and local craft beers while taking in the view of the Beartooth Mountains from our back patio. My favorite viewing spot was submerged in the jacuzzi under the stars. Evening soaks were relief for our sore calves.
Each night, a different couple was tasked with preparing dinner for the whole family. Will and Kelley drafted me into their team and the three of us whipped up a DIY taco bar complete with all the fixings. It went over great, except for the fact that we forgot to thaw the hamburger meat beforehand.
When Aunt Corey mentioned the piglet races, I thought she was joking. Nope. On our last night in Red Lodge, I found myself cheering wildly and fist-pumping the air as a group of piglets galloped their way along the miniature track.
It’s over in an instant– one entire race lasts less than ten seconds. We placed a handful of bets, but none of our chosen piglets brought in the gold.
It was wonderful to spend a week of quality time with my family doing the things we love– hiking beautiful trails, eating delicious meals, and relaxing in the lodge during our downtime. This was my first time visiting Red Lodge, but I hope to return sooner rather than later for another round.
The Wrap Up:
I’m ending this Year in Review with a gratitude list. Because there is always something to be grateful for.
Morning coffee on my balcony overlooking the mountains
My health + the wellbeing of the people I love
Rice cakes, pomegranates, Georgian string cheese
Thai champagne (cheap wine + sparkling water)
Getting weird on Halloween with friends in Thailand
Movie nights with friends
Sleeping like a baby on long-haul flights
Being incredibly fulfilled in my career
The tokay gecko that lived in my Bali bathroom and ate all the spiders
Being home in Kansas for Christmas
All the maids that make my homes around the world livable. And don’t judge me for it.
The cat that lived in our Balinese villa and would cuddle with me while I was working on my laptop
Airport lounges with complimentary champagne
Bathrooms with hand soap and towels. (Especially in Thailand– this is a rare gem.)
Dramamine
Only setting a morning alarm on days when I’m catching a flight
My parents and their unwavering support
My obsessively-curated Spotify playlists
Jack Coquillette, the best cattle dog in the world
Waterfall days in Chiang Mai
Endless entertainment provided by all of my group chats and hilarious friends
Soda water
Food Panda (sup, healthy fish)
My French press
Kratom working sprints
Air conditioning
Italian octopus salad
Fast internet
Homemade limoncello
Amazon Prime one-day delivery
Living in close proximity to nature
Scalding hot showers
Coworking spaces with built-in coffee bars
A clear view of the night stars
All the people that I love
